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Empowering: “You CAN’T Do That, So Why Bother?”

I can not tell you how many times in my life I have been told, “You Can’t Do That, So Why Bother.” That one single statement has made me second guess myself my entire life. Well that is not the only thing I have been told by people who have influence or control over my life.

It will never work.

You are too old.

You will never loose the weight.

You can’t quit work.

You can’t travel around the world it is to dangerous.

Why bother trying if you’re just going to fail anyway.

You’re not good looking enough.

You’re not smart enough.

You will never be able to get married.

To be honest, sometimes I wonder why people even get out of bed in the morning. Patrick, my husband, gnome-411125_1280has this thing he likes to say, “That everyone has a Superpower,” like his for instance, he can find anything. I mean, seriously, if you lost it, he can find it. It amazes me every single time. When I give up and just say,”oh well it’s gone,” he can come into a room and, BANG, there it is! I on the other hand have the ability, to just have people offer me things. I mean like, “would you like to sit in first class,” or, “I like your business plan, here is $250,000, for free” or, “The owner would like to buy you a drink, meal, massage, free night stay, well the list goes on and on.

What does any of this have to do with, EMPOWERING?

Well because it is not a matter of listening to other people. You see, what I have just started to figure out is that Patrick is right, we all do have a, Superpower, it is a matter of listening to yourself, to closing your eyes and ears to the world around you and listening to what is inside of you. Our own limitations are only what we put on ourselves. If we listen to the, “You Can’t Do That, So Why Bother,” people, we will never succeed at anything we want or do. You see, I think Patricks superpower comes from the fact that he believes in himself. He knows that, what ever was lost, has to still be there and it wants to be found. So he focuses on that one thought. He remains calm and in a matter of minutes, what ever it is he is looking for presents itself.super-powers

My ability on the other hand is not because people just want to give me a quarter of a million dollars, it is because I have always followed the school of thought, that if you go out of your way to make sure people know you are there, that you care and I don’t mean just loved ones, I mean to every person you meet, from the guy sitting next to you on the plane to the waitress taking your breakfast order or even the judge sitting in front of you who is about to decide your fate, EVERYONE, people will notice. They will see that you have something they want and they will do whatever it is they can, even if it is subconsciously, to make sure you succeed. This is self empowerment. This is listing to that small little voice inside of your head that says, “You can do that, or, What if you tried this, or my favorite little voice, You are good enough!” You don’t need others opinions of yourself. You don’t need anyones permission or approval. You can do anything you set your mind to. The only person that needs to believe in you is YOU!

This is what I’m finally learning to do:

1. Make every experience a learning experience. Be endlessly curious. Just as importantly, be meaningfully curious, that is, curious about the things that matter most to you. Expect to find valuable, useful knowledge everywhere you go, from each person you meet, and you will.

2. Dream big and fill in the details. Be completely honest with yourself, looking clearly and unashamedly at your authentic, driving purpose. From that purpose, create a dream so compelling it will keep you working until late into the night and then get you out of bed early in the morning.

3. Keep going. Don’t be stopped by discouragement over the setbacks. They are a natural part of the process. Know that they’ll come, and be ready to keep going when they do. Just as importantly, don’t be stopped by the successes. When you’ve made some progress you’re in an ideal position to make much more, so do it.

4. Be aggressively and continuously thankful. Gratitude will open your eyes, your mind and your spirit to the value that exists in every situation. When you’re genuinely thankful for what you have, no matter what it may be, you can make meaningful, effective and positive use of it.

5. Take responsibility. Don’t waste your time or drain your energy by making excuses or assigning blame. The fulfillment in your life is up to you. Yes, absolutely seek the advice, assistance and cooperation of others, and offer your own in relationships of mutual benefit. Yet always keep in mind that no matter whose fault the mistakes may be, no matter whose job the task may be, the achievements you seek to create are one hundred percent your responsibility.

Secret Success

girl-240925_1280A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning .They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue.

Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked: ” What did you want the most when you were there?” The boy replied: “Air.” Socrates said: “That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it. There is no other secret.”

You see only when you finally get to know the most important person in your life, YOU, you will have all the support you will ever need. We never truly know anyone, heck, we never really, truly know ourselves and if we do not take the time to get to know who we are, how can we ever know what is special about ourselves, what our “Superpower” is. I spent 43 years with an ability that I never knew I had and it saved me time and time again, but I did everything in my power to ignore it, to suppress it, to destroy it. I listened to the people around me who made me feel inferior. Why write this post? Because, for no other reason to say, WOW! You are amazing! I am here for you, to help you listen to that little voice inside your head that knows you are special and worth while. So what are you hiding from? Do what you were sent here to do and let us know, “What Is Your Superpower?”

Give, Love, Do, Serve

Dr. Carey N. Pabouet-Sigafoose


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