The list that you are about to read, are my thoughts and observations of not just chiropractors, but people in general that I have noticed over the past 48 years. I find myself in an interesting position, being that, for my entire LIFE I have been around chiropractors and these are just a few things I have noticed.
#1) WE TRAIN OURSELVES TO BE EGOCENTRIC
Everyone has an ego – a self-preservation circuit in our brains that think about our needs first and foremost. It’s a survival tool we’ve been passing on for thousands of years. But recent generations have turned egos into an artificial tool. “Surviving” no longer means running from predators, but rather running from people who threaten our status and groove.
We’ve become too busy focusing on our own junk that we forget how to empathize with others. We tell each other to concentrate on what we want, what we need, and what we feel like we deserve, rather what we can do for others. When this habit bleeds into a doctor patient relationship (or a potential one at that), it will undoubtedly crumble before it begins to flourish.
#2) WE’D RATHER BE LIKED THAN LOVED
Everyone wants to be a part of the cool crowd, but who or what, may I ask, defines the “cool” crowd? We’ve become a culture so obsessed with fitting in and being liked that we tend to ignore being loved by one another. We’d rather sit at the cool table than hanging out with a person we really like by ourselves.
Status is everything in this day and age. It’s the reason why we post the things we do on Facebook. It’s why we’re obsessed with what people are saying about us. We want it so bad because, we think, it makes us more valuable, more wanted, that we’d make a bigger splash in the world. The truth of the matter is it’s all bullshit. What we ought to be focusing on is making our own paths. Never sacrifice love for false pride. It’s always going to end badly.
#3) WE CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK
A funny thing happens when you stop worrying about what people think. The voices of the world become filtered and all that exists is your own. As of late, I’ve begun to understand what it all means – who I am, what I’m here for, why I care so much. The answer has been in front of my nose this whole time.
Everyone in this world is meant to do something for someone else. It has nothing to do with spirituality or religion, but science and human evolution. Community building and support is the whole reason our species has survived – without being there for each other, we would have succumbed to the genocides of tribalism long ago. We are stronger together than we are separate – no question.
#4.) YOU’RE AFRAID TO STAND OUT AMONG THE CROWD
Emerson wrote, “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the self-reliance of every one of its members.” People don’t like it when other people change or do something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. Pushing ourselves to reach our own greatness threatens the complacency of those around us, shining a light on their own squashed dreams and failed potential. In many cases, these people lash out. It makes them question themselves, which is difficult for most to handle. Simple fact of life: if you want to do something incredible, something that makes you stand out above the rest, then you have to become comfortable being different from the rest. People will think you’re weird, crazy, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, obnoxious, stupid, disrespectful, fat, insecure, ugly, shallow, etc. Those closest to you will often become the harshest. If you have weak boundaries or are not confident with your own ideas and desires, then you’re not going to make it very far.
#5.) YOU’D RATHER ARGUE AGAINST ADVICE INSTEAD OF TAKING IT
Guaranteed express ticket to sucking: trying to be right instead of good. I don’t care what it is, if you’re more invested in arguing your point of view against people who are trying to help you than you are in improving yourself, then you’ve effectively given up. And for all of your brainiac debating, you’re still too stupid to see it. Not to say that everyone should always take advice from everybody, but you should accept feedback whether you believe it’s relevant or not, not try to argue your way into looking like you were right all along.
The people who suffer from this problem tend to be highly intelligent and extremely insecure. It’s a bad mix, because the more intelligent someone is, the more they’re able to rationalize their own bullshit excuses to themselves, and the more their intellect is used as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile ego.
#6.) YOU DON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE
Also known as having-an-excuse-for-everything disorder. To fix the problems in your life you must have power over them. You can’t have power over aspects of your life unless you take responsibility for them. Therefore if you don’t take responsibility for what happens to you, you fail. I know it’s tempting to blame your problems on some external factor, to insist that it was impossible, that it wasn’t your fault, that you couldn’t have done anything to help it.
“The point is, while we’re pointing fingers at others and blaming them for our failures, we’re losing footing and continuing a downward spiral. Own Up, Pick Up, and Move Forward taking FULL Responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens in our life, even if we don’t think it is our responsibility.
Well you get the point, Right?
#7.) THEY’RE PESSIMISTS
If you go in expecting to fail, you’ve got a great chance to do it. If I expected Deep Existence to wear me out, be unpopular, and waste my time, why would I write this? Pessimism leads to failure because it decreases the amount of effort a person will put forth. Success requires effort, which is fueled by the perspective that your efforts are not in vein.
By the way! I find that I see all of these traits in my mirror too. So I guess I need to work on myself as well. 🙂
HAVE AN AWESOME DAY,
Dr. Carey N. Pabouet-Sigafoose